smile-

2007-05-16T21:31:00.000+08:00

Guilt so strong, so dense, it beleaguers you with complexity. It comes knocking on your door just when you think it has subsided. Will it ever leave? You question.
You can remonstrance and demur, but no definite answer will be found. You can only wait optimistically.

You try to run, but you lack the strength. You try to hide, but you lack the heart.
Now, it leaves you prostrate. You smile, but as a masquerade of solace.

2007-05-14T21:02:00.001+08:00

is love omnipotent, or does it have to face up to reality too? what do u think?
life's tough.

2007-01-22T23:27:00.000+08:00

from time to time.

i just wanted to say that ive not been talking to this friend for very long. the lack of communication may have created misunderstandings deep enough for me to cast a truckload of unsupported aspersions on him. i may be guilty of that.
the cordial conversations aside, its time to engage in some decent heart-to-heart talk. lets hit the drinks and have a talk soon.

2006-12-17T11:57:00.000+08:00

still on holiday! will be back on the 22nd. i'll update (no promises) when im back (:

2006-12-06T13:00:00.000+08:00

holidays (:

through my dogged efforts, i have overcome all odds - procrastination & technical difficulties - to update a decent (hopefully) entry here. you know what they say about holidays?

we have nothing, but time.

precisely. i can afford to be profligate and let time slowly slip off my hands, yet not view it as some form of cardinal sin. the contrast is glaring when i juxtaposed the current scenario with the pre-Os period, albeit positively.
in retrospect, that period of assiduous studying has been enriching; many friends were made and priceless moments kept. back then, even an afternoon nap will be reprimanded with digust from my subconscious self,

'Os are so near, u still have the audacity to waste time?'

in a matter of months, the situation has pirouetted and taken a massive change. i love holidays, simply because time is not an issue; i have plenty of that. there is only one thing i should take note of - practise abstemious drinking, lest i suffer from liver damage. haha.

i have been chilling and on the lookout for sirenic places. im still searching for the perfect chill-out place, but for now, i rate ann siang as my favourite rendezvous. seriously need to gather some homies to enjoy a night-out there, soon.

i will be leaving singapore this friday, travelling alone. hahaha, its going to be a sensational experience. will try to do another entry before i bid u guys farewell.

2006-11-01T12:55:00.000+08:00

forget me not.

i suppose i can afford a truce from the books and do a quick update over here. Os officially starts tmr (malayan history). this is vexing but well, i can draw comfort from the fact that it will all be over in 2 weeks.

17 nov shall mark the start of my extensive tomfoolery; i promise i'll play so hard.

apologies to all my beloved friends whom ive been neglecting during this period of time. you guys have always been in my mind- seriously.
we've got lots of catching up to do after my much-loathed Os!
miss u ppl (jonas,pop,willy,joey, russ, abbs,david,claire,steph,aunty sherli!)
lots of love,
teckyang (:

2006-09-24T15:22:00.000+08:00

on the border of philosophising.

I suppose the closure of prelim has successfully carved out an aqueduct for my creative juices to flow again; since I can afford some time to luxuriate in my musing and exercise a portion of catharsis.

I have engaged myself in deep cognitive sessions for the past few days, replacing my short hiatus from books for the bipolar strife of reasoning and reputing - all these hype for my attempt on deriving at a suitable definition of life.

I wouldn't deny that my definition is still in the process of undergoing refinement, but as of now, I will write about the thoughts generated thus far. When I receive new revelations - coupled with the right mood and inclinations - I will write again.

I believe life takes on an undulating form; akin to the ebbing of the waves. Needless to say, there is bound to be successive crests and troughs - very much in correspondence with life. Life is capable in taking on different permutations; a moment ago one may be all gleeful, but the next moment nauseatingly suicidal.
The next time u visit the beach, do observe the ebbing of the waves; the transition of high tide to low is often unpredictable and catches you off-guard.

I observed, and found it to be surrealistically interlinked with life. The unpredictability of life has thrust me into a mental imbroglio - one from the metaphysical realm. What exactly is life to me? I have read this phrase somewhere before, and I reckon it best represents what I am thinking.

To live and to let live.

To live-
First and foremost, one must live a life free from the vice-liked grips of Regret. This is a common killer which has gone scot-free since the beginning of time. It is time to eliminate this adversary with the fiery bat of courage before it gets detrimental and plague the generation to come.
haha, I am making it sound a tad too superlative.

'If only I studied harder. If only I controlled myself. If only.. if only..'

We often spend half of our time whining about issues that we could have averted. if only we took practical solutions to curb it..

Next, live a fulfilling life. Enjoy what you do, and do what you enjoy. If clubbing makes u feeling purposeful, club. If building up god's kingdom opens up the joy-door to your life, build. If studying gives u fulfilment, study.

Whatever you choose to do, do not let monotony creep in and suffocate, or blind u from having the life you could have. Be no deserter, soldier on in times of adversity and u will emerge the victor of your crusade.

To let live-
Your life far exceeds the boundary of me, myself and I. What a warped world it would have been if people tenaciously held on to this facade - the acme of selfishness. To me, one has to do life together with others, only then will one advance towards the creme-de-la-creme of life.
Lead people out of the alley of darkness and into the blissful horizon - lustrous and scintillated. It is always good to shed positive influence and see people around being metamorphosed.
I feel it is also imperative for one to have a close circle of friends, to impact, and be impacted.

Twenty years from now, it doesn't matter which profession we are in, what cars we drive, or the spouses we have, but it is the small and seemingly insignificant acts that will remain etched in our inmost depths.

The little gestures do matter; breathing life into others is no feat. I love you all my friends.
So, live and let live people.
Have a blessed weekend.

*I will write about some of the events/gatherings on my next entry.

2006-09-19T21:55:00.000+08:00

sexy little night.

hello world! im in an exceptionally gd mood today! prelims are over!
im not looking forward to the collection of my resuls but well, lets take one step at a time.
for now, its time to relaxxxxxxxx.
im leaving the hse soon, night out with my homies at ecp! the night will be beautiful. will update again soon! (:

2006-09-04T23:30:00.000+08:00

a diferent man.

his room was a kaleidoscope of love, passion and uncertainty. completed pieces of artwork varying in all sizes and outlook are strewn all over the floor - your typical devil-may-care guy. the air lingered of tobacco; it is a feat to dispel the odoriferous cloud for his cigarette was lited almost every other hour. in the corner of his room - better known as pigsty- thick drawing blocks were stacked up in the corner. i picked them up and casually browsed through, not forgetting to shower him with an avalanche of questions in the process.

his answers were brash; clearly, he was proud of bring an artist, or at least, an artist in the making. he continued to share with me some of his philsophical beliefs and regaled me with his entire repertoire of jokes. i have to admit, im very much enthralled by his idiosyncratic style of living.

there was a trance in the air, like time infinitely stopped in its tracks. there was a need to subdue the air of aloofness he carried, but then again, this characteristic labelled him with an
unique and peculiar identity. he gave the rat race a miss, and distanced himself from the frenetic candence of modern world society. seemingly, the world was at his disposal for he was caught in a timeless apathy and need not be accountable for things he does.

'is it possible to make it big by merely being an artist?' i questioned inquisitively. for a moment, i thought he would shoot me with a wry glance or scoffed at my candidness but he did none.
'life is an art. it is about doing things u enjoy.' he replied dismissively.

i left his place, convulsed with admiration - not worship though.

kudos to him for mustering the courage to carry out his passion and having the faith to trode on the path less taken.
this is ur gung-ho artist of tomorrow.

we shld all get a little apathetic and life might be better that way. ignorance/ignoring is bliss; providing an escapism from the screwed up world. it is about time i abort certain beliefs which i held dear to, because it is ravenously devouring me from the inside.
i can do with a little love from people whom i love.

2006-09-01T22:47:00.000+08:00

pictures

dad has finally decided to banish the obsolete digicam - in use for circa 4yrs - for a new casio. i tested its prowess and it proves to be pretty impressive. i shall add a few photos up here before meeting up with the gang for some drinks. hmmmm...

will update again soon, hopefully. cheers (:

shit, blogger needs a major overhaul soon - the pics are taking forever to load. perhaps its abt time i switch over to livejournal.

sorry, just 2 pics for now.

2006-08-20T18:59:00.000+08:00

spare me the agony of losing a friend.

people make mistakes all the time dont we? to err is human, to forgive is divine. well, im ready to ascend to the realm of divinity and do just that - forgive. hang in there, dont give up.
i trust u, really. do consider other alternatives - anything - but leaving. whatever route u choose to take, i'll live a happy man for i once knew such a friend.

the 1.5l of beer i consumed yesterday was great; it allowed me to put my labyrinth of whys, hows and whats on hiatus. fret not, i remained sober throughout the night.

friends - the ones who will catapult me into the pinnacle of life.
i dont want to lose the true essence of life.

2006-08-15T00:53:00.000+08:00

au revoir, my attraction.

i see an immediate need to address certain issues. it is good to be discerning, but somtimes, people look too deep - too much - into it. as the plot thickens, i will like to remind u to be punctilious in the words/message that im going to convey.

hopefully, this will clear the air of misunderstanding.

i cannot reiterate enough that attraction do not denote affection - these two words are as different as day and night. attraction = charm. affection = fondness.
im clearly only in the attraction stage.
perhaps its my improper usage of words or volatile sentiment that have given rise to inconveniences, i apologise for this.

friends we will remain. (:
love all of u guys.

2006-08-13T16:10:00.000+08:00

Dreams are infused with fantasy.

Dreams. What exactly are they made off?

Perhaps it's like an unopened door in our head - when probe and knock on, they swell and become voluptuous, billowing through the pores of our entire being. Then, the door is viciously flung opened and the next moment, we are on our pursuit of that dream.

Perhaps, it's a natural aphrodisiac; definitely the most perplexing drug to surface on this world. It emerges as a clear victor when juxtaposed with ice, opium & heroin. We live, so as to see our dreams fulfilled. Don't we?
Humans thrive on dreams - often a driving force in life. It has the ability to subvert the destiny of a man if one chooses to attempt this dream by employing effort.

Perhaps, it's a see-it-through-all mirror. We covet to see the perfect 'me' and thus we might embark on a journey to execute our plans to see our dreams fulfilled. In this expedition, our character is put to the test. The demon or angel in us will be unleashed; some people resort to unscrupulous methods while some will not compromise with their fundamental moral beliefs and take the conventional route - hard work & perseverance.
This mirror will reveal the best reflection of our being - thoroughly.

Or..

Perhaps, it's just a fallacy; a figment of our imagination.

Dreams are luxuries I cannot afford - they require meticulous planning and the extravagance of time. Even with these pre-requisite factors in place, the dream might never come to pass. Humans are subjected to circumstances; we never know what lies ahead.
This make Dreams so fallacious.

Needless to say, I have dreams too.

I dream of
-donning on exquisite designer accoutrements
-living by the sea
-have a dog of my own
-staying near all my good buddies
-being exceptionally successful in whatever career I choose
-growing old together with my loved ones
-taking strolls every evening
-reading enriching books all day round
-retiring in a serene farmhouse in the west
-traveling around the world
and the list never ends.

These unsaid dreams provide the invisible glue that holds my fragile sanity together. They will be the reason I study, the reason that sustains me through the Os.
Of course, I need the support of my friends, family & god too.

Now that I have the glue, I need the lacquer; a special someone to give my dreams a sleek finish.

It's my fantasy.
I can see, but can't have. this entry has been edited.

2006-08-10T13:51:00.000+08:00

As we move on.

abby, w.song, zhihao, jonas, joey & wilson.

In their companionship, emotional disclosure came easily. There were no restrictions; unhappiness was abruptly voiced, but promptly forgotten. Delirium experienced was registered and conveniently embedded on our inmost depths.
I love the raunchy gossips - think Benedict - I love the unflinching loyalty, though intricately structured, but we had the ease of accessing it with our keys - camaraderie.

There are special 4 words tipping over my lips, hovering dangerously near the cliff of eruption. It is a precarious balancing act which cannot withstand the constant instigation of my heart. These are the words that have to be said, lest I never have the chance again - like a tsunami decides to head my way this very moment, engulf me and hastily set me on the highway to heaven.
My friends, your presence have undeniably painted blissful pictures in my life. The rapport we have established will continue to be a stronghold in my times of distress, from all these, I draw strength.

How can I then, not enunciate?
I love you friends!!

Please do not mistake my proclamation for flippancy; each and every word is underlain with utmost sincerity. (:

We may be different in many aspects - diverse temperaments, individual interests and personal preferences - however, we are still closely knitted together because of the basic trust and respect we have for one another. There are many places we have set foot on, countless intellectually stimulating (familiar eh?haa) conversations we had and not forgetting, the fun-filled outings.

I have lost count of the number of consecutive outings we had, and perhaps even the usage of our infamous cliche expression - 'this kind of thing must relax one!'
After all, just the memories and the collective mental consciousness was enough.

I have been given the special privilege to witness the coalescence of our lives and I am eternally grateful. You guys have become an inseparable part of my life, serenading me with the much needed support.

It is never about the places nor the events, but the company.

Now, I live another day, lissome on the wings of enchanted friendship knowing that friends are for life.

2006-07-30T21:49:00.000+08:00

quick update.
-i promise an entry the next weekend.

i apologise for the lacklustre updates and my unreformable habbit of blogging sporadically. life have been good- marvellous in fact.
just wna do a few shoutouts before i turn in for the night.

kcube(david, claire, steph)- thank u all for the frequent study sessions!
abel, marv, vince, joe- sch will be such a bore without u guys!

and..

my buddies.
-joey, wilson, jonas, zhihao, weisong & abby.
time spent with u guys will be encapsulated in my heart, forever.

courtesy of abby's blog. love this entry.
a few good men
in the recent months, i have met some people i will never forget for as long as i live,
a few good men. haha. seriously. you will see dreams- in their eyes, love- in their ways and to me they're unliike anyone i ve ever known. if you ever wanted to know what unconditional love is between friends, i can tell you i am the luckiest person alive, because i have seen it, love that is so much more than what so many people experience. and in a short space of a month i have experienced it. haha im not boasting(although it sounds like it) prehaps many of such people exist today, i'm not so sure.
i wish i had what they have, unabashed love for each other
laughter in each others company, with no restraint
pure joy and laughter, even when nothing is said,
it amazes me and it continues to do so, everytime i see how much they look out for each other, how fondly they recall their past, how easily they forget grievences, how readily they give.unselfishly
and they have allowed me, a mere mortal, a person who will never know or can never understand the inner workings of how deep all their relationships run,to witness it, and for this i am fully grateful. i' want to become a better person because of them, and for some strange reason i dont think i'll ever be a part of what they have, but i will be the happiest person simply because i know that such friendships exist.
jonas
zhihao
joey
teckyang
wilson
aaron
-thank you.

(:

2006-07-13T22:06:00.000+08:00

beautiful life.

to be swept up by every new craze that comes along, to surrender yourself to idiocy just because everybody else is doing it- this, to me, is the epitome of mindlessness.
the above is but a random thought of mine, just felt compelled to pen that down. haha.

the world cup fever had caused much distress (france lost), but also reinforced my belief of pursuing sensualistic lifestlye. the feeling of mounting up the ladder of enjoyment with friends right beside u is ecstatic.

a life u love + friends = perfect.

must i say, ive been enticed by the epicurean lifestyle. the thought of luxuriating in a world that is uniquely shaped to my sensual preference is no doubt, enamoring. call it a fallacy, but to me, it is when the soul is at rest, then, life is at its best.

i am feeling sleepy now, and shall finish up this entry fast. in conjuction with my languorous mood, i'll leave out the details and briefly pen down my life for the past 2 weeks.

joey, wilson, zhihao,jonas, aaron.k, abby, me.
abt 2 weeks ago(1st july), we gathered at abby's place for dinner. she whipped up a fabulous meal of western delights.
majhong, watching soccer, chatting, performance by joey and jonas- guitar and singing.
totally awesome.

all of us met up soon again.
friday, 7th july.
went to changi village to meet up with old friends for dinner.
weiren, his gf, yongwen, weiqin, his gf, alvin chua, yang, wenqi.
after which, we explored OCH. it was everything but exciting- ntu booked the whole place, thus och was as lively as the supermarket.

yes again we met.
sat, 8th july.
joey held a birthday chalet over at jurong east. the chevron- a nice name congruous to the beauty of the place.
bbq, watching soccer, midnight swimming, blind mice and swings in the playground; albeit topless, rhapsodising about the shop we're gna start, more deep sharings and rejuvenating chats.
a night that will remain embed in me.

you got it, we were together again.
sun, 9th july.
world cup finals over at zhihao's place. xueting left shortly before the match commence.
zhiyong's dance moves, zidane's infamous head butt, the mirthful cheers when france scored, the vile aspersions on the italy players (abby, u accused the italians as mafias remember, haha), the $800 scam and numerous other stuff.

the 2 weekends are predictably the best weekends i ever had. it was chilling sessions, and more chilling sessions- my cup of tea.
abby, if u ever read this, oriental food soon! haha.

abby, zhihao, jonas, aaron, joey, wilson, weisong-
thank you. some day we shall fufill our dream of having our very own shop.

just another thought before i sign off,

live in the present, mould it to be so dazzling, that it will be worth ur reminiscence. (:

2006-06-21T01:23:00.000+08:00

be more gracious with my words?

it is inevitable for one to undergo the peaks and trough of life, and though some may bear life with fortitude and tranquil grace, but not me.
when life hits me with a curve ball, i contravene by writing entries saturated with raw emotions, converting chagrin into words.

the emotional intensity of an entry rises in accordance with the emotions forming in me at that particular time. the more the emotions form, the higher the likelihood of presenting a brusque entry.
it will be good to bear in mind that all entries were written solely for the purpose of self-reference, or well, at least for a small grp of friends. thus, it will be beneficial to exercise discernment when reading my entires, along with a pinch of salt.

i spotted an uncanny resemblance between an ephermeron and me-- short lived.
my anger and emotions are short lived, just like the emotional entries-- a product of my overly sensitive nature. over time, all these will come to a decrescendo as reality takes precedence over my innate emotions.
alot of entries are written at the spur of the moment, and in the process, i may commit a faux pas by writing tactlessly. but yeah, overlook this, for im merely being me.

i reckon my thoughts are best expressed through words, albeit harshly. with that, i shall give Graciousness a miss and continue to bask in Unequivocalness.

engaging in msn conversations and blogging at the same time is a no-go, my train of thought has been disrupted. ahhhhhhhh! nvm, i shall go grab a drink instead.

claire, thank you. the chats have been invigorating! i think ive found a friend in you, haha (:

2006-06-19T17:51:00.000+08:00

people do change, i presume?

trust me, i'll write a limpid entry very soon. but for now, try to unravel this not-exactly-hard-to-decipher entry.

for the past few days, my mind have been choked with countless thoughts. and i think that is why god allowed me to find someone who identifies, and agrees
en masse along with me.
i shall address this person as R.

excerpts from the msn conversation with R:

R: he's damn gd friend
R: sigh
R: i forgot abt this gd friend of mine alrd

me: did u go __ with them?
R: nope
R: thats why i am here
R: lol, they didnt even ask me out

me: i just found out that he's really married.
R: wahhaha
R: i sort of knew alrd
R: i dont care alrd
R: he never tell us he is with her
R: thats nice
me: he's like this
me: when he was with __, i found out after a few mths u know!
me: felt like i was the biggest loser kinda thing
R: no its not that ur loser
R: its u have gd friends
R: i mean a gd friend
R: i really think its wrong of a friend to be like that.

me: kinda take things for granted eh?
R: we have to accept them the way they are la
R: even though i dont approve of them behaving like this, they're still our friends.
R: nonchalent

me: i was wondering, will he still ask me along if i did not ask him abt playing ball later?
R: ahha
R: doubt he will

me: you wna come along?
R: i dont attend uninvited events
R: u go ahead la

me: i dare bet that they wil nv figure out why we are unhappy
R: i can confirm that they will be very clueless why we aint happy
R: whahaha
R: SAME THINKING!

R: later, he will tell __ abt the nick and all
R: and their gonna be hell clueless
R: and they wil talk abt it for awhile
R: then make up a lot of dumb ideas
R: and then
R: forget everything again

maybe it is not a very gd idea to post all these on my blog, but i reckon i can do with some venting.

i love you guys and always will.

2006-06-17T00:00:00.000+08:00

teckyang just wants the best.

the night is suffused with dark shades of grey, its frail beauty a stark contrast to the morning sky. the wind hummed a therapeutic melody and not far away, the leaves of the trees rustled in approval - hardly conspicuous their conversation was, but certainly sufficient to whisper of untold tales.

as humans, we are in many ways similar to the leaves of the trees; in an appropriate situation and under the influence of enthusiastic cajoling, we'll speak of our not-entirely-dignified secrets and allow our hearts to unfurl from its then hardened state.

i'll like to be naked with my emotions, and share explicitly of the struggles im facing to friends around me, but it is not possible.
ploughing through the soil of my heart, i discovered a distintive trait - the soil only permit specific seeds to grow and thrive. in the same way, i only trust and share my wildest secrets to specific friends.

to the friends mentioned above, ive a small request. like how i bared my heart, i sincerely await the reciprocative sharing of yours. the time to remove the inscrutable mask has come, it is now.
im afriad that one way sharing will lead to the dilution of our friendship, eventually driving us towards the road of disintegration. i do not wish to face this possibilitly and so decided to preempt such an eventuality by imploring my friends to be less secretive.

i ask not of a sub-standard relationship, but the best.
share, speak and do life together.

--check back in a few days time, i'll be blogging again.

2006-05-28T16:04:00.000+08:00

chinese Os tmr!! i better start reading the notes.
and ppl, i think i wont be updating this blog that often now. probably once a mth. bye bye.

2006-05-18T22:08:00.000+08:00

failure is not an event, but a judgement on an event.

most of the results for prelim 1 are back, except the english language, for which the marks are yet to be finalised.

pure history--A1
combined humanities(ss, elec geog)-- A2
a maths--A2
chinese--A2
chemistry--C6
e maths--D7
physics-- a predestined F9. haha.

bad result is the compelling force to drive me on, i'll set out with crusading zeal to accomplish a daunting task: A1 for emaths the next time round, and to improve my chem.

im not in the best state to blog, so i'll sign off with this short entry.

2006-05-13T00:05:00.000+08:00

show some love, take the initiatory step.

being emotionally stabbed by ur loved ones, is often a nerve wrecking, heart wrenching, mind cracking experience. this entry aint for the masses, but solely for two friends.

yes, i call u friends for i still very much treasure this relationship.

1 cor 13;4-7
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

these verses kept reveberating in my mind, inconspicuously evoking me to recollect my thoughts before assembling them to form one big picture-- a picture depicting friendship.

love and friendship goes hand in hand, both interdependent.

without love, this friendship wil be like a cup of spoilt milk; unblemished on the surface, but spoilt in the inside. this cup of milk if consumed over a peroid of time will cause one to feel discomfort, and before long, one will regurgitate the milk to ease his torment.

today, i threw up this cup of 'milk'. my threshold for tolerance had reached the maximum, resulting in my abrupt change in mood. well, i wont be surprise if the two of u did not notice that, for u ppl usually adopt a nonchalant approach to almost every other thing.

in a relationship, one got to give and take. but here, i think ive been giving in a tad too much. you ppl do know i place our friendship in top piority, allocating as much time as i can to spend with u ppl. im usually the one to make the phonecalls, checking if we are coming out or smth. hardly, hardly did u ppl take the initiative to phone me. blithe unconcern. blithe unconcern.

even after i moved, i tried to stick close, occasionally gg down to ur area for bball or some chilling sessions; its not like the cab fares are free. ive been compromising with my comfort zone, but do u ppl appreciate or even notice?
to add salt to the wound, i cant even play tennis with friends i treasure. i have no qualms abt playing it at your area, but tennis is probably too trival for u to fork out time and effort to find a suitable location. tell me if thats the case, i will accept it with due respect.

take today for example, i had a bbq to attend, and because of that, the snide remarks have to be hurled eh? dun tell me its just a joke; even jokes have limits. try telling ur mum that ur gf is pregnant, and later modify the statement by saying its merely a joke. a slap will be promptly issued for taking this joke too far.
the attitude pissed me off, not the comments.

the image of the ck boxers hovered over my head, causing me to unveil a saccharine smile. i love that boxers, for it is an accoutrement signalling love. however, love got to be exhibited on a regular basics! not by words, but rather, by practical means, actions that is.

if u find this post petty and redundant, do slip me some cyanide, kill me so that i'll nv ever voice out my earnest concerns.

if this relationship is genuine, reciprocate my love, and i'll gladly go the extra mile to keep this bond vibrant.
friends are lovers, literally. no one gets left behind.

2006-05-11T21:23:00.000+08:00

one down, two to go.

as the title suggests, first prelim is finally over.
physics, the bane of my existence, have finally taken a toll on me. for the physics paper, my script was left virtually untouched; blank and unanswered questions speaks of my meager knowledge of the subject. unless the sun rises from the west, there is no way i can pass that paper.

my inability to do the physics paper tantamount to an admission of unfavourable omen, one which forebodes unpropitious results for this prelim. i do not feel good abt this prelim, attributing these negative emotions to a lack of preparation and hardwork.
i studied, but not enough.

this june will mark the start of my assiduous pursuit in attaining the As for my next prelim.
i was just talking to marvyn a few days back, outlining our study plans for june. find a few classmates, get back to sch in the morning and study till evening. we will then end the day with a game of tennis.
to sidetrack a lil, i absolutely adore tennis. though im considered as an amateur, it aint gna stop me from enjoying the game. after the Os, i will definitely pick up tennis!

prelim 2 in july and prelim 3 in sept. its a long and torrid journey, but this journey is worth all the sacrifices.

each and everyone of us live on a modicum of faith, but there's hardly any occasions when we choose to place great faith in people around us.
maybe just a tiny weeny bit, such as entrusting ppl with household chores, or getting them to run simple errands like getting the groceries et cetera. this is faith too, but on a lower level, a secondary stratum.

what im going to share now consist of a person who believes in me. he did not trust me with just minor issues, but also trusted me with my future.

presenting to u.. DAD!

ive grown to enjoy dad's company over the years. when i was young and ignorant, i commited several mistakes which shattered his heart, inducing the start of many acrimonious disputes which estranged our relationship. all these have become a thing of the past.

now, we communicate on a regular basics, discussing everything under the sun; ranging from politics to school and work. it started to dawn upon me that dad trusts me very much u know. my mum is always complaining to dad like how im not studying hard enough and all, but dad always brush it off.

he told me, 'i take a different approach from mum, i trust that u will do well for ur exams.'

even when i come home late at night, he hardly grumbles. dad trusts that i will study despite the numerous outings. woah, i marvel upon the radius of this gargantuan faith, and cant help but verbalize my fervent appreciation,
i love u dad!!!! (:

for dad, for accomplishing my lofty dreams, and for a brighter future, i'll work!

2006-04-30T22:41:00.000+08:00

monks cant beat this.

excessive hair checks carried out by obdurate disciplinary teachers antagonised some students, driving them up the brink of despair, leaving them with no choice but to resort to this:

haha. saw this pic and i cant help but to share it.
waiting for david to come over my place, we are gna toil the night away!
im lazy to blog, shall blog again soon.

2006-04-28T22:33:00.000+08:00

blessed.

ok, i'll sum up my 16th b'day with a few blessings that really touched my heart.

firstly, it is the first time i feasted upon a whooping 42bucks steak!
you see, matthew called me out on tuesday night for dinner. he said he would be in camp on thursday, and thus wanted to treat me to dinner as a celebration for my b'day.

we had dinner over at the outskirts of town; in the vicinity of hilton hotel and tanglin mall.

DAN RYAN CHICAGO BULL.
i wanted the petite steak, which is like so much cheaper($29) but matthew insisted on the bigger steak. he also ordered lemon tea and potato wedges. the meal was one that was consumed under the veil of love; so airily casual, yet sincerely frank.
it wasnt all abt the sumptuous meal, but matthew's deliberate effort to add colours into my life. we put aside all other issues and engaged in a conversation, which i believed, have brought about mutual sedation. reminiscing the days when we first met, it developed a stirring in me, a surreal feeling that transcends understanding, it was so supernatural.

god must have been in the picture.

despite the 3 yrs age gap, we were still able to communicate. he have acted like a mentor, sharing his experieces on his different phase of life, but he was also a friend, encouraging and pulling me along the waves of opposition.
that night, i just wanted to revel in the propinquity of such a friend.
thks matthew!

a second blessing came my way.
for the first time in my 16years of existance, mum gave me an 'ang bao' for b'day!
surprise?? me too. so, i shall exult over this small unexpected sum and think abt wat to do with it.

thirdly, it was the suprise carried out by the peeps! im still living in jubilation because of this small but magnificent celebration ok!(:
pics:
http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2106917088

the demise of my hair is probably the only misforutune that descended upon me, but the various blessings made up for it!
it just leaves me with the conclusion that my friends have bestowed me with a memorable 16th birthday; a birthday which is unequaled, unparalleled and incomparable!!

2006-04-28T00:13:00.000+08:00

consider 27th april a testament of god's grace.

This blog has served as a platform for me to voice out my dissatisfaction, and not forgetting the many joyful events happening in my life.
You know, sometimes when I browse through some of the old entries, I go like 'ahh, im human afterall. See, im not devoid of emotions, my feelings at this particular post has been conveyed and penned down for future references.'

Before you jump into the bandwagon and classify me as an eccentric emo-kid, do allow me to explain the reason why I enjoy writing abt my emotions.
It is my belief that feelings should neither be suppressed nor repressed, but it should be unleashed and expressed!
Retreat behind the comfort of the computer screen; open the flood gates to my creative juices and as best as I could, write a pellucid entry depicting the transitions of my various emotions.

Now, its time to WRITE.

The surge of exuberance has buried the grudges I had against the school's policy, and effectively drowned my woes of the ruined haircut.
This year, I enjoyed my b'day thoroughly. Allow me to dwell in this sanctuary a little longer, imbibing delight through every pore, before 27th april comes to an end.

Jonas, zhihao, weisong, aaroon.k, weiren, weiqin, yang, Russell, yongwen, Sheryl and ziwei.

I attended tuition today with little expectations, thinking it will just be another mundane b'day. However, the ppl mentioned above took the effort to ignite a magical spark right outside the tuition centre.
Weisong and I left the tuition centre after we were done with the work. On our way to the toilet, I saw Russell! I called out for him and he shot me with a who-are-u look.

Clearly buffaloed, I questioned, 'its me la! Cant recognise me ah!'

Russell stood rooted for a second, as if trying to dig deep into his memory bank to recall who the hell I was.

'oh its u teck yang. Couldn't recognise u in those shorts.'

Well, for some reasons, I took his reply the way it was, dismissing all possible suspicions.Russell's acting skills are commendable! He had me deluded!

I was in for more trickery and scams.

It was getting a little late and I suggested it was time to travel back home.
As we(weisong & me) were walking down to the mrt station, he exclaimed,

'I left my worksheets back at the tuition centre!'

Being the kind friend I was, I accompanied him back to the tuition centre to retrieve the 'worksheets'.
Before long, weiren and aaron kwek came into sight armed with a cake box. I quickly interpreted their appearance as a call for celebration; an obvious hint that the peeps are here to celebrate my birthday!
As the 2 of them inched nearer, weiren let loose of the box and it landed on the ground with a sickening thud. Just when I thought the cake was unintentionally smashed, zhihao and the rest of the ppl appeared with cake on hand, singing the sweetest b'day song I ever heard!

There was no damn cake in the box! I was tricked, yet again. Haha.

So, a screwed haircdo just aint enough to damper my spirits, with the b'day crown on, I shall prance in the midst of love, twirl around my ever so wonderful friends and thank the lord for such a special birthday!

Will write a little more about my birthday blessings on the next entry. Stay tuned. (:

2006-04-26T15:12:00.000+08:00

im not making a mountain out of a molehill.

CAT HIGH DISCPLINARY BOARD SHLD JUST PISS OFF AND ROT IN HELL.
the mere mention of the school holds connotation of abused authority and stringent discipline measures.

the sch strives to provide a cohesive environment for the students to learn and develop characeteristics alike to a GENTLEMEN. although i think all the talks are sheer bullshit, there isnt much that i can do. i have to comply to the dictatorial commands of the school, or rather, the principal.
the sch's vile attempts to stage a revolution has brought abt much trauma, causing students to be emotionally abused and unfortunately, some had failed to evade from the prying eyes of the disciplinary teachers.

hair checks ruined me.

so, does short hair makes us anymore like a gentlemen?-- and in unison, the students screams NO!!
like i said, we are subjected to the sch's prerogative, expected to be at their beck and call. failure in adhering to their beliefs wil result in dire consequences. for today, i had it.
MY HAIR WAS VICIOUSLY SNIPPED OFF BY THE BARBER.
it is an understatement to say that is ugly. even david gan cant save me from this plight.
damn.

definitely not in the mood to do anything, i just want O's to be over and leave this god-forsaken sch.
for now, let me grieve over spilled milk.
i will blog again after i accustomed myself to this new hairdo.

2006-04-17T21:23:00.000+08:00

random.

the boredom is kiling me. but again, i have plenty of stuffs at bay, waiting to be done.
alright, i admit it. this is just pure procrastination.
prelims are creeping in, and i ought to start studying now.

so, i will post a few candid shots taken during jonas b'dae(13th april) and subsequently vanish into the boresome realm of textbooks.

http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j100/sheryl_16/jonas%20birthday/DSCN1670.jpg

http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j100/sheryl_16/jonas%20birthday/DSCN1671.jpg

http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j100/sheryl_16/jonas%20birthday/DSCN1680.jpg

http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j100/sheryl_16/jonas%20birthday/DSCN1684.jpg

http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j100/sheryl_16/jonas%20birthday/DSCN1683.jpg

much thanks and credit given to sheryl and ziwei, for taking the pics and uploading it onto the net.

will blog again soon, check back on sunday. bye bye world.

2006-04-16T16:01:00.000+08:00

moonbathing under the starry night sky.

saturday night-
jonas, zhihao, weisong and me.

a rarefied experience whereby we chilled the night off right on the secluded top level of a multi story carpark. dont get the wrong image, we aint doing drugs or sort.
this experience imperceptibly infiltrated into my sub consciousness, like a notepad, it was embedded right onto me. i can never forget this experience, never.

to speak of the truth, there wasnt anything that appealing abt this little gathering.
the location wasnt the best of place, but the companions were my best of friends.
this alone made the world of difference.

savoring very inch of the serene night, we weaved imprudent dreams, occasionally cooking up a ludicrous cockeyed idea and laugh off at our own foolishness.
ahh, that was the moment.
sincere delicate grace notes floated in our midst, pinning them down to form a structured opus will be out of the question.
let the chats continue, let the raw emotions flow, let this friendship rejuvenate.

the bottle of red wine further refined the glamour of the night. deftly relishing every drop of wine, accompanied by the unfaltering conversation, we could have went on for ages.
unfortunately, i was merely living on the slice of stolen time. it will take me sometime to travel from khatib back home, and in order not to catch the midnight charges of the cab, i had to leave.

unwillingly, i baded farewell to a night of vigour.
jonas offered to walk me down the carpark and waited for me to board the cab before leaving. his little gesture pleased me inordinately. thanks buddy!

im a simple guy, one do not need to know rocket science to figure out my predilections. sometimes its not just abt tangible words, but small yet significant gestures, which can go a long way too.
the bottom line is: be true, be simple, be sincere, and be rid off the sophiscated nature of man.

i derive to this conclusion; the number of people u know means shit, they are but mere acquaintances. what truly matters are those who u can relate to without putting up a front of pretence, those who u can call, buddies.

i can declare indignantly, 'quality triumps over quantity.'
their companionship i will cherish!

2006-04-16T00:22:00.000+08:00

may i remind u that this entry will be a deluge of thoughts and nothing else. save me from the derogatory comments if u r intending to make any.

i need salvation and respite from this conniving heart of mine.
the time has come for me to dilute my naiveness with the realisation that im nth without the lord.

shrugs. how many times have i found reasons to validate my perceptions and failed to place myself in the eyes of god? countless. i reasoned things by human ideologies, measured things by human standards, and explained things by human logic.

i missed out the crucial and deciding factor:
jesus christ my saviour.

im but a mere mortal! one which is liable to sins, and confined by my own finitness. who am i to make decisions and pass judgements?
this is so wrong. a paroxysm of guilt threatens to encompass my whole being, sinking me into the abyss of self condemnation.

when i fail to establish a strong walk with the lord, problems accrued and it wouldnt be long before a chasm of unaswered questions lay between the lord and me. delibrate measures and efforts are needed to build this relationship strong!. to hell with the paradox that god is always in our midst, his presence never to leave. bullshit! god is in our midst, BUT his presence may fizzle off if we are not on the constant lookout for him!

god's tender hands is much needed in my life. hold me, and i will walk with u all the days of my life.

do things my way? or do things ur way lord? to run or not? lets see how it goes..

burntan.' no more self indulgence honey
i tink everything we do, we gotta remind ourselves that god must be in the center

burntan.' no more self indulgence honey
and not listing out priorities by 1, 2, 3

burntan.' no more self indulgence honey
but its like a mind map linking out our lives

burntan.' no more self indulgence honey
everything revolves ard god.

burntan.' no more self indulgence honey
so if u are facing troubles placing ur priorities, then u gotta go back to the center core.

thanks sherli!

2006-04-09T16:01:00.000+08:00

carrying off fragments of my hopeful, optimistic dream.

i shld blog on a more regular basis, and for that, i'll update my blog at least once every week. so, check back every sunday.

i enjoy blogging to a certain extend as it allows me to keep track of my life, and to pen down my thoughts and views in a clear, concise manner.
unknown to many, there is this old blog that i have. in it, holds many entires of my running days. riffling through the old entries, i got a lil nostalgic. yet again.

i shall not digress now, but will have to make a dejecting confession.
i will stop running, at least for now.

before u start scrutinising me, allow me to explain the reason for this cause.

2 entries back, i cited instances of my renewed passion. my conviction is still strong, but it is crippled by the harsh and pragmatic reality of this world. i wna run, but i cant; the stakes for this gamble is too big for me to bear.
the mind is willing, but the flesh is weak.

firstly, let me tell u of a typical trng week. the usual routine is 3 or 4 times trng per week. monday, wednesday, friday and sometimes saturday. every session lasts for about 3 hours. giving ur best for each strenuous session will result in extreme fatigue. by the time i wash up and have my dinner, it wiill be around 8+pm. finish up some work, and my eyes will be closing; slurring a plea for me to slump deep into my bed.
there aint sufficient energy for me to finish up my hwk, not to mention extra revisions.

lets face it, i do not posses superior intellect nor have the capability to do well in exams without studying hard for it. a simple browse through my report card will show that im still failing a couple of subjects. this is a crucial year for me, whether i like it or not, i have to study. but if i continue trng, time and my physical being do not permit me to give my utmost best. but at the end of this yr, i want to have no regrets, proclaiming, 'i have studied and given my best for the Os.'

even if i continue running, there is no gurantee that i will succeed. rather to end up with both running and studies all screwed up, and end up having to go to poly or something, i choose to abort my conviction in running. with all focus on my studies, i can be assured of a place in jc and from there, i can continue my run. the stakes is my future, ruining my future is the last thing i want to do.

going through this emotional turmoil is hard for me too, but such is the cruelness of this dose of altered reality. self-assurance is but temporial self-denial, i can go on and think that i can juggle both studies and running, but in the depth of my heart, i know im being cloaked in a shroud of reasonable doubt and plausible deniability.
it really suck to be embroiled in this confusion, stained with uncertainty, but i know, a final and firm decision will be the liberating key.

this entry goes out to mr koh:
im sorry coach. just want to let u know that u have really made an impact in my life. you are the one whom i will always remember and respet, but still, i choose to take this route. for now. for now.

my disclaimer: i have not given up hope on rising up again, but have instead choosen to take the practical step of securing my future FIRST. i will run. but not this year.

2006-04-02T16:00:00.000+08:00

sweet 17 to weiqin! (:

we celebrated weiqin's birthday yesterday night. enjoyed a meal over at punggol marina country club. it has been long since we had such a big gathering. all in all, we had abt 20 ppl ard. needless to say, the fun we had was almost indescribable.

i simply love these guys, they piece my life, and make me feel like im in the midst of dazzling fireworks. friends play such an impt roles in our lives dont they? im lucky to have gd friends in church, and also superb buddies out there!

from my observations, i realise i have this innate tendency to treasure the friendships ard me. why? i do not have a clue myself. well, i guess these intrinsic bonds defies description and is beyond my understanding. all i ever need to do now, is to continue to thank the lord for the existence of such friends.

PRELIMS ARE COMING! and im definitely not equiped with the basic skills to fight this WAR.
shit. haha.

2006-03-24T23:00:00.000+08:00

mr koh is the best coach one can ever ask for.

since i started running, i had my fair share of victories and defeats.

through victories, my level of confidence escalates, eventually leading to the creation of steadfast perseverance in me. i trained hard to attain the highest glory, determined to prove myself capable.

my eyes were fixed then.

after these goals were met, complacency kicks in. i paid no extra attention to this subtle poison which eventually penetrated into my life, contaminating my perspectives and averted my eyes from the destination. complacency has proved to be fatal; completely changing my course of focus.

in sec 3, my attendance for trng dwindled down, and it didnt took long before i wandered off. wholly.

like any other coaches, mr koh relentlessly tried to knock some sense into me, hoping to direct me back on track. on ALL occasions, i ignored his words and continued my pursuit of a different lifestyle.

but,

mr koh did not just leave me that way. he was persistent and after a few months, i resumed trng. through the sessions, it was clear that my fitness was in a deplorable state of neglect. no doubt, many others thrashed me on the runs, even those who were once slower than me. i did start to pick up a lil but the small improvements were deemed unworthy by me.

i gave up again.

the vicious cycle goes on; mr koh talks to me, i go for trng, and goes missing after a few weeks.
this explains for my absence from competitions in sec 3.
at that point of time, if u were to ask me who i think is the biggest loser to ever walk on the face of this earth, my ans wil be a loud loud 'me'.

mr koh said this to me on tuesday,
'i have never given up on you. do not give up. do not give up hope on yourself'

these words jolted me back to my senses, and created an uproar in me. a simple 2 minute talk has set me thinking, causing several questions to surface, one of them being:

have i given up hope?

mr koh has finally struck me real hard. images of the past were conjured up in my head, reminding me of mr koh's undying concern over me.

why is failure more finely etched in our minds than triumphs?
the situation does not look promising now, but i ought to look back at the times when i did succeeded in reaching my goal. those were the times when i cling on to the glimmer of hope, believed and strained towards the goal, even when the path seems bleak.

and so, i no longer think im a failure. i was, and can be successful again! with renewed hope, i'll embark on a new journey of self discovery and revive the runner in me! there may not be good results this nationals, but it shall not deter me from giving my best. even in jc, i will continue to fan this flame and work to bring back the old me.

not for self glorifying purpose, but to convey a simple msg,
there is hope!

the lord is faithful.

2006-03-14T23:22:00.000+08:00

there are nice places in s'pore.

this is one extraordinary day. after 385693 years, zhihao jonas and i finally met up again.
city hall was our destination.

jonas suggested that we have dinner over at makan sutra. it is situated near esplanade, the open air area facing the sea. there was this store selling stingray. we were contemplating on which size to get. the small one being 10 bucks, medium 12 and big stingray for 15. the uncle of that store promptly issue us an irressitable offer : we can pay 12 bucks and he'll get us the big stingray. being the cheapskates, an unanimous reply was given.
we also ordered the oyster omelette.

the stingray did came in a large serving. a whiff of the sweet aroma emanated from the food sent me to cloud nine. this beat drugs hands down. alright, this is a lil exaggerated but the stingray was nice! the omelette too! well, at least to me and jonas. zhihao was commenting like how the stingray isnt fully cooked while me and jonas see no problem with it.
we did enjoyed the food afterall.

after the meal, we took a lil stroll down the pathway leading us to baby face(some club next to the merlion). on our left, we had a panoramic view of the sea, but this sight was marred by those big ugly vessels. such an eyesore. nonetheless, it was still beautiful.

on our right, there is the victorian style FULLERTON hotel. this hotel simply conjure up images of the old english days.

the little sea breeze caressed against our faces, creating this ambience; an atmosphere of peace. my worries seemed to have vanish as i promenaded along the walkway. i feel so at rest.
maybe i shld come back whenever i need a break from this hectic lifestyle and enjoy a small talk with the lord. ok, i will do just that.
city hall is lovely. (:

we eventually headed to khatib for a a cup of BUBBLE TEA. haha. the oreo blended is nice!

time seem to evanesce as we sat at the playground. i have always cherish such moments. these chats do help to build our friendship strong, and also to act as a sweet reminder; brothers we will be.
although we have moved on to different phase in life, im constantly being encouraged by the fact that we do meet up despite our schedule. and for this, i love u guys.

thank you for keeping this friendship burning. you guys matter. big time.

2006-03-14T00:02:00.000+08:00

i love dfs galleria.

marvyn and i did a little travelling on sunday. we patronised a number of stores and i must say, DFS GALLERIA is great! i will crown it as the best place to shop in town!

majority of the ppl shopping at galleria are tourists, with japanese making up the largest percentage. we tried something real spastic; to act as japanese tourists. we started conversing in some sort of language unknown to mankind, intermingled with a tinge of japanese accent, and yes, we call that JAPANESE. thinking back, that 'language' we spoke really sounded like jap.

me: how do u say cute in japanese?
marv: kawaii i think. (his dad used to work in japan)
me: why dun we go up to some jap girls and tell them that.
marv: ok!

obviously, we did not, haha. its always like this; we say things that we will not do.

clad in casual wear(slippers for me), we entered the stores in galleria expecting to be shot with scornful stares or at the very least, be treated with contempt.

i was clearly mistaken!

the peeps in the stores are amicable, rendering assistance and answering our queries with a swiss white smile. in burberry, we tried on some polos and got a piece each. loving my polo!

we left galleria as satisfied customers.

their service is in large contrast with the boutiques at taka, paragon etc. over at those locations, its a very differnt thing. the peeps will only serve those tais tais who sashay into the shop with their gucci and pradas. their snub is clearly intentional. its alright, i understand. ha.

to sum this boring entry up, VISIT galleria and be enthralled by the wonderful customer service! ok, this sounds like some dumb advertisment. im off! tata.

2006-02-28T19:26:00.000+08:00

my life is yours for the taking.

why do i keep falling into this pit hole lord?
looking into the mirror, im filled with disgust, overwhelmed by guilt.
you love such a frail and peccable mortal like me even when im unworthy.
again and again, i broke your heart yet u say,' my child, repent and i will guide u'.
when in doubt, u usher me into your hands, giving me answers i could never imagine.
the tangible love of christ has been the source of hope,
acting as a barrier against the attacks of the devil.
in all aspects of my life, may it be a pleasing sacrifice.
studies, ministry and sports, i submit.

i do enjoy the little conversations with god (;

just a lil discussion.
the scandalous behaviour of the nyp girl hogged the limelight; the intensive coverage of the media has caught the attention of me. i will save u the sordid details of the video, instead, i will like to express my concerns regarding this issue.

i believe, many cannot condone such behaviour; i share the same sentiments. it is appalling that a large number of teens are engaging in sexual activities. i guess one ought to exercise some self control and consummate only in the convenant of marriage. imagine the ignition of the fire, intermingled with passion of two vigin bodies, this experience is beyond imagination. a little waiting can do wonders. GOOD THINGS ARE WORTH WAITING FOR.

punishments should be meted out to that person who started the circulation of the video. he/she just ruined the lives of the duo. it will take a considerable amount of time and effort for the duo(esp tammy) to overcome this situation.
i say, leave tammy and the guy out of the punishments. they have gone through enough embarrassement and the emotional trauma alone is enough to drive one into the valley of self despair. i really feel sorry for them. kinda sad eh, their little escapade turned so nasty.

okay now. i know that many individuals view me as a big ass slacker who couldnt care less about such 'frivolous' issue. i do build my life upon certain moral ethics alright. ABSTAIN BABY. abstain. if i ever ** before i get married, i will pulverise my toot. haha, im serious ok.

well, with jesus taking the front, i need not fret.
i may stray, i may hide, i may run,
but his love will always lead me back into his embrace.

2006-01-18T19:36:00.000+08:00

SPEAK TO ME NOW.

ur ways i cannot fathom.
but oh lord, i cry.
is this ur will?
you promise to never forsake me,
your face i wna see.
you promise to see me through the seasons,
i cling on to that.
inundate me with your assurance.
i need it so dearly.

misunderstood. probably lost count. a chance to redeem the trust? never was it given. a chance to rebuild the image? lady luck aint with me. wrong time, wrong place, wrong person.

behind that angelic demeanor, lays an unforgiving soul. one that deprives others of chance, of trust and of ACTUAL EXPLAINATION! he was adamant in his claims made against me and although i repudiated the accusations, he aint gna take wat i say.
its hard to accept this fact with equanimity, but thats just how things work. i swear i really wanted to 7smlkf83mcd him! that bastard.

trust me on this. once an impression is set, eradicating it wont be easy. you wil die trying.

2006-01-15T13:18:00.000+08:00

i wont hide now. with determined effort, i will triumph over my carnal nature and START BLOGGING regularly. ahha.

SATURDAY.
service and all. joined zhihao in the evening, went looking at stuffs again. i realized i wna buy lots and lots of stuffs, oh man. SHOPPING! i need it real soon to satisfy that unquenchable desires in me. okay, we met up with
erwin, weiren, jonas, yong wen, weiqing, kwek and xinyi.
with yong wen and weiqing around, one will never fail to be invigorated by their numerous jokes.
we had great fun over at the ktv place. its in btw paragon and heeren. i do not have he slightest hint wat that place is called, so yeah. oh! kwek can sing pretty well!

THURSDAY.
surprised b'dae party for our beloved buddy, zhihao! i dare bet it was one of his best b'dae celebration ever. okay, let me delineate this whole thing again. may i remind you that this entry is gonna be lengthy lest u get grouchy halfway through.

jonas and me was comtemplating if we shld do something for zhihao this year. eventually, we reached an unanimous decision to carry out a special celebration since we have never done anything memorable for zhihao so far.

firstly, we have to purchase a good present for zhihao. through observation, he needs a bag and so we decided on a black crumpler which we believe he's interested in. obviously jonas and me wont have enough to come up with that sum of $169, so we started passing the message down and manage to get quite a bit of ppl to share the cost. (thank u so much guys!)

so the cash was collected on tuesday, and the bag bought on the very same day despite the fact that zhihao was with us. not really sure how jonas managed to get the bag,(cos i left early) but if im not mistaken, weiren yongwen weiqing dragged zhihao away on the pretext of shopping for a gift for jingyuan. jonas then went to purchase the crumpler before heading home.

on wednesday, i called up zhihao's mum and told her abt the surprise party we were planning to hold. she was supportive of the idea and offered to prepare some food for the celebration. jonas and me also started informing the ppl abt the details for he party. it was to be held in the evening over at zhihao's place. unfortuanately, only anna, nicole, dexter, christine and weiqing could make it.

so yes, told zhihao on wed night that only jonas and me meeting up with him for dinner over at khatib. (ps. he was so sad ok. cos his b'dae was made so insignificant by us). so on thursday, gathered everyone to be at his hse early while i met up with zhihao over at khatib's mac. we waited for jonas 'tuition to end' and in the meantime, i pretended to recieve a lot of calls from my dad, demanding me to go home early.

when everyone was at home(incld zhihao's family), jonas called to say 'his parents want him home'. man, u shld see the forlorn look on zhihao's face, both me and jonas have to go home early! WAHAHA.

shortly after, zhihao's mum called and 'scolded' him for not coming back early. KNOW WHAT! his hp no batt! so yes, the mum called me instead and i feigned ignorance by giving the 'why did u call me' tone. passed the phone over to zhihao and shortly after he decided to go home. WE WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET UP AGAIN ON SAT TO CELEBRATE. ahha, it was so darn fun.

ok to cut the long story short, he went home and i followed behind. when he reached home, everything was normal. he was abt to on his com when his mum told him to go back to his room. he opened the door and sees many familar faces! HE TEARED.

okay thats abt all. finally, we did wat buddies shld do. -- manifest our love for him.

2005-12-18T17:20:00.000+08:00

before i start, if there's any kind souls who's willing to get my tagboard up again, contact me pls.

back from shanghai. i tink i missed out quite a bit of fun when i was away. ): oh well.
but its ok, cos i got to spend some quality time with my family. haha. im lazy to type what went on down there but basically, the place got on my heart but the people got on my nerves.
they are disgusting, despicable and #*$^(*(%%. oh, and the food there is REALLY OILY.

forget the unpleasant thing and i shall share some memorable experience.
when there with my dad's colleague and their family memebers.
there were so many of us that we formed a tour together. the tour guide is probably the only nice china guy i met in this trip. haha.
and yeah, got to make some new friends in this trip.
we played cards and all almost every night . fun. haha.
AND MY 14MTHS BABY COUSIN CAME TO VISIT US. he is so so adorable.
we took some pics using my aunt's cam. so when i get the pics from her, i shall show a few.
oh btw, my aunt is in shanghai cos her husband is working there temporary.
okay, im getting lazy again. shall update more when i can.

some of the pics.

my younger bro is the new tour guide?
http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d192/sneakershit/DSC02262.jpg

sis and me.
http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d192/sneakershit/DSC02286.jpg

the new friends.
(from left to right, dno who[she didnt join us for the games], my sis, shihui[she's really pretty], germaine, sheryl, lynette, huiling, anthony, me. the row in front are the kids.)
http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d192/sneakershit/DSC02256.jpg

family pics.
http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d192/sneakershit/DSC02239.jpg

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d192/sneakershit/DSC02224.jpg

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d192/sneakershit/DSC02222.jpg

I PROMISE I WILL SHOW MY BABY COUSIN"S PIC WHEN I GET THEM. CANT WAIT TO SEE THOSE PICS!

2005-10-23T21:33:00.000+08:00

friday.
a whole bunch of us got caught by gohkeeyong just becasue we went to the lounge to get drinks after pe. he just had to make such a big fuss out of it. wasted a whole load of our time.(he made us stand for the whole day)

keeyong: the boy i know 2 yrs ago have changed.
me: the teacher i know 2 yrs ago have change too.
keeyong: where is that boy i knew?
me: where is that teacher i knew?
it goes on and he ended off that vacuous conversation with,
keeyong: it is not the teacher who has changed, but the boy.
me: *sneer*

after this incident, i was kinda like contrite? but what i said was not based on groundless accusations, yet i tink i shld have exercised abit of self control. but i really wonder, why has he like change? he used to be someone whom i enjoy talking with, but he's more of a menace now? can really be unreasonable sometimes. does power and authority corrupts? oh whatever.
yeah, had trng and went to catch a movie with song, david, esther and angela. skeleton key, a nice little twist. haha.

saturday.
all living organism must grow. it is imperative for us to get out of the boat and learn to walk on water. may the voice of truth always dwell in our very heart.
sunday.
vincent, marvyn, shao, shawn, song, hansen and me. we worked at sph building. it was so slack and fun, i wldnt call that work. easy job, easy money. had great time crapping and fooling ard.

the results wil start pouring in tmr. ahh! no..!!

he's knocking, open up the door, will u?

2005-10-16T23:15:00.000+08:00

i came across this blog and found it really interesting.
www.rockson.blogspot.com

though its full of profanities, its hilarious. do check it out. digest the content and read between the lines. u might see daylight. (:
i really wonder if anyone still visits my blog. haha. but well, i shall start blogging again since exams are over.

had service yest and went to quan jun's b'dae party at night. met up with wei ren, erwin, yong wen, aaron kwek and yang. took bus there. we had a great time messing ard in the bus. but yeah, the thought of them graduating in a mth or so just brought a tinge of sadness into my heart. how time flies, many wondeful memories surfaced and i just question, will this be the end of a friendship or merely the begining? really hope that these bonds will not crumble and fall but instead, always stay strong.

the party was mad. they were dancing ard and a number of them were dead drunk. yong lian went wild. haha.
look at wat alcohol can do to a person, im so gna abstain from them until im of age. haha.

and pls lord, i dun wna flunk my exams.

tenacious memories of mine, they are here to stay.

2005-10-06T21:33:00.000+08:00

exams are tough. i shld have studied earlier. ahh..!!

2005-09-18T21:42:00.000+08:00

you are the voice of hope,
the anchor of my soul,
whern there seems to be no way,
you'll make it possible.

how is it like to prepare the up coming exams with a smile on the face? its hard, but i will try. for im not alone on this. need serious catching up.
despite it all, yet i will sing.

glory to u alone.

2005-07-31T00:57:00.000+08:00

had service in the afternoon. intended to study after that, but haha..
ended up joining zhen and all for pool before, jonas, me, paul and zhihao went down to sembawang park to attend sheila's b'dae bbq.

quite some ppl there.
wei ren, yong hua, aaron kwek, wei qing, wen qi, erwin, annabelle, jingyuan, wilson and yongwen.

dead fun. were guessing some stuffs away. and we got so excited. couldnt stop talking abt it even when we were on our way home. me and jonas swear we are gonna try those tricks on more ppl in sch. fun fun fun. (:

shall study tmr. yes i will. great day.

2005-07-27T23:18:00.000+08:00

take a sip from the pleasure's cup and drown in the sea of regrets.

my indulgence in sneakers shld be suppressed. a few more and im quitting on nike. too many people coming into the scence now. sigh. cannot make it.
i have been lazing ard. i needa start studying now. common test next week. shrugs.

rawr (:

2005-07-21T13:13:00.000+08:00

DAWN INVADES.
hoho.it's done !
mm it's not very pretty though.bear with it for the moment till i find something nicer. xD
and gimme the links yoo want me to add in . ((:

2005-07-10T16:31:00.000+08:00

alright. revival has finally took place in my godforsaken blog.

dad and mum chided me for always hogging the com. well, i guess its time for me to step out of my confort zone and curb this unacceptable desire. it can, it will, and it must be suppressed! ive decided to only use the com for max 1 hr everyday now. haha.
i havent done any studying today, better do something later. one thing im proud of, i just did my weekly planning! haha.

yesterday was entertaining. joined the rest of the gang at night. thought we were celebrating someone's b'dae but i was clearly mistaken. caught up with many pals over at fish & co. we were all in for a suprise. zhihao, wei ren and a few others went up to the duo who was performing and asked if paul could go up there and sing. and they allowed! yeah, paul did a 'here without you' and it was good.

i was just pondering over this.
wat good is it. if u gain the whole world yet forfeits ur soul?

who am i? wat am i doing on this earth?
ive got my answer, have u?

2005-04-29T22:25:00.000+08:00

what if..

what if,
GOD couldn't take the time to bless us today because
we couldn't take the time to thank Him yesterday?

what if,
GOD decided to stop leading us tomorrow because
we didn't follow Him today?

what if,
we never saw another flower bloom because
we grumbled when GOD sent the rain?

what if,
GOD didn't walk with us today because
we failed to recognize it as His day?

what if,
GOD took away the Bible tomorrow because
we would not read it today?

what if,
GOD took away His message because
we failed to listen to the messenger?

what if,
GOD didn't send His only begotten Son because
He wanted us to be prepared to pay the price for sin.

what if,
the door of the church was closed because
we did not open the door of our heart?

what if,
GOD stopped loving and caring for us because
we failed to love and care for others?

what if,
GOD would not hear us today because
we would not listen to Him yesterday?

what if,
GOD answered our prayers the way
we answer His call to service?

what if,
GOD met our needs the way
we give Him our lives?

i just find this so true! it has kinda compelled me to live a life that shines (:
anw, i got new sneakers! reese forbes hunter!

2005-04-22T17:21:00.000+08:00

have i lost a friend?

we used to be great friends. but somewhere along the way, things start to take a change. no longer as close as before. this issue has caused a emotion upheaval in me, my heart is in a turmoil. it just sucks. i do not have the slightest hint on why such terrible things can occur.

i just miss those nonchalant days, when we used to just play all day. i miss those laughters, those crap we did.. sigh. there seems to be nothing i can do to close the proliferating distance btw us.
yet again, this can only lead me to the conclusion that nth's eternal. god, let ur presence rain on me. let things get better.

the musical composition of chemistry,
where isit?

devil, pls give him back his old soul.

2005-03-31T20:50:00.000+08:00

sch is great. but the amount of work and tests we have to endure is not that rocking.
had physics test few days ago. obtaining single digit for the test is an inevitable outcome. i need serious physics tuition, recomendations?
had english compre test today. it was hell. its difficult, and i mean real difficult. there was no way i could comprehend the exact meaning of the passage. the passage dun make sense to me too.
i have this ominous feeling, or rather a hunch, that this term will not be as great as last term. i see myself not doing too well. i seriously need to get myself to work and start studying.
oh yeah, got new shoes. p-rod!

keep me close to your throne.
let me know I'm not alone.
please save me from myself.
and free me from the pain of being me.

brotherhood.

2005-03-14T21:28:00.000+08:00

no amount of words can give voice to my inner joy.
experienced great fun for the past few days!
a great way to kickstart the holidays.
friends are such great things god placed in our life.
their invaluable companionship is one thing i really cherish.
yeah. beached today, sentosa.

-aaron kwek -jing yuan
-lijuan -paul
-aaron lee -zhihao
-jonas -quanjun
-jing yi -yinwai

loads of ppl in sentosa today. haha.
i better start doing my hwk. have loads to do.

our happiness would beat in perfect time,
sorrow mourned within our shared mind,
such a link of spirit, emotion, and heart;
this musical composition of chemistry.

brotherhood, spirit of togetherness.
piano, dinosaur, rooster. haha!
i so cherish our bonds!

2005-03-08T21:06:00.000+08:00

i slept my day away. down with headache, fever and throat infection. the doctor prescribed a hell lot of medicine for me. the headache is ripping me apart! darn.
i want a N8855. style.
its high time i get this blog revamped. any kind souls who's willing to help me with my template?
holidays are nearing, great. a little break from the hectic and tiring sch life.

high into the clouds,
the golden light of your wings
Another symbol of your love,
the crisp golden light i see;
your love reaching me.

2005-03-06T19:31:00.000+08:00

new hp number! 91082053

2005-03-06T00:18:00.000+08:00

my sister received christ today! yay! had great fellowship with weisong. god has been so faithful. my results were pretty good, and its all god working through me. i pay homage to god for the numerous amazing things he have done in my life. worthy worthy (:
thanks u lord!

2005-02-20T00:38:00.000+08:00

i got an ipod mini! but still no phone. i will get one SOON i guess. bye.

2005-01-29T22:38:00.000+08:00

a simple prayer.

lord, i wanna know more more more of u (:
keep me going at this point of time god, heal that back injury of mine, so that i will be able to run faster and glorify ur name. for u lord. for u.
give me the much needed discipline to train well too. i surrender my life into ur hands, i put u in the centre of my life. everything i do, i do it for u (: amen.

2005-01-25T19:05:00.000+08:00

i see it as a test from god. i need to be able to keep faith even at this point of time.
my phone and jonas phone was stolen while we were playing bball k.
and the worst thing is, my phone was in my bag. sigh. just told my mum abt this, she told me off. dunno what my dad will say, he's still not home. well, hopefully i will be able to get another phone, any simple phone will do. not gonna burden my dad with costly phones again, its redundant. so people, forget abt contacting me for this period of time.

god, i need more of u. see me through this. for i know, you have plans to prosper me and not to harm me.

and jasmine, HAPPY BIRTHDAY k! ahha, dun even know whether u will come to my blog. but ya, one year older! love(:

2005-01-21T22:30:00.000+08:00

goals are temporary but not purposes. we hit a goal and thats it, a new goal comes along. i learnt that i shld have a purpose in life, one which i constanly strive for, and i've found it.
god, i humbly ask u for the strength to see me through this tough period of time. i need u.
many tests coming up next week, i can do it!

2005-01-15T22:05:00.000+08:00

god has never forsake me. he's the best.

so ya, came back at ard 3am from the mini bbq. was damn fun la, shall not elaborate more. u wouldnt want to know wat the 4 of us did, but of cos, its nth against the law.
slept for 4 hours, woke up at 7am, and off for trng. i gave my best for trng and at some point of time, i just felt like stopping, but god proved to be faithful, he gave me the strength and determination to go on. a trng well done today, very sastified. praise him!
after trng, went to queensway to get my nike dunk pro sb rosewell RAYGUN! so many ppl was queuing up to buy that shoe k! very long queue. god's blessing was upon me again, there was enough pair of shoes to go ard. so yes, after two hours of queuing, i got my shoe! yay!!

here is the raygun!

rushed down for service after that. was late for 10 minutes. as usual, service is amazing. pooled with the usual people after service till 7 before meeting up with david and the rest for meeting.
alright, i need good rest and i shall study tmr! drop dead tired now. ahh..

i'll sing to u lord, a hymm of love
for ur faithfulness in me!

2005-01-14T20:50:00.000+08:00

been some time since i blog, so i better do so now.

alright, lets see. i met sis on tuesday! she was at j8 and she msged me. happened to be at the interchange macs so went over to look for her. she dun look so aunty anymore, still so pretty even after giving birth. haha.
wednesday had trng, nth much. and i am starting to hate physics, it suck the daylight out of me. mrs chung just rattled away, ignoring the fact that we're lost! ahh! i need help in physics!

on thursday, had a belated birthday celebration for zhihao! we eated and joked ard at cafe cartel together with, jonas, aaron, yanling and amanda. the bill was like 70 plus, so ex. haha, nevertheless, we had great fun. AND, we smashed the cake onto zhihao's face! so funn! haha.

intended to go play pool today and skip trng. but after david's talk with me, decided to go for trng. i need to train hard and glorify god's name. so ya. after trng went to eat dinner with the rest of the team. its always fun to be with my team mates. such jokers, haha. back home. think im going for a mini bbq with jonas, zhihao and maybe weisong in a while's time. (:

and im gonna be discipline and go for trng tmr morning, and the rest of the afternoon, time with god (: yeah! haha. tata am off.

2005-01-04T18:37:00.000+08:00

haha, my day couldnt have been worst. after sch, walking out, reach the GATE alrd, dm shouted at us, ' the four of u come back, go report to the general office.'
guess wat, cos of HAIR. wanted me and gerald to cut, so yes. im BOTAK now.
no more nice hair, no more long hair. the start of a new LIFE.
oh man. have never been attractive and now.. WORST.
haha.. i dunno wat to say alrd.

2005-01-01T23:47:00.000+08:00

alright, ive decided to change my blog address to this!
new year, new begining, new blog address. ahaha.

woke up at 10 today. washed up and everything, whole family went to town for haircut.
ahhh! my back is short again. but didnt cut my fringe and side.
hope can get away with it in sch.
went to queensway to get shoes for my sis.
and its me who bless her with that pair of shoe using my pay k! haha.
-it is more blessed to give than to recieve (:
service after that. the worship was great. as usual, pastor jeff was sucha joker.
went for north meeting. priscilia wants us to work on these for the new year
-spiritual growth
-souls
-studies
shall keep it in mind.went to play a bit of pool after that.
kinda taught jian hao and siyuan how to play.
home sweet home at abt 10.

have also been enlightened by david. thanks dude.
im so gonna study and train hard so as to glorify god's name.
will be doing it to the best i can!

*ohana-- family. no one gets left behind.
i love my spiritual family!